Some years ago, I came across a song, written by Susan Carmichael in 1985, entitled, Fly Like A Butterfly. I first heard the song while on a retreat where I was one of the speakers. I was struggling at the time. Physically, emotionally and spiritually – I was tired of hiding my pain. I was depressed and ashamed of the way I was feeling. I mean, I was a pastor, and pastors aren’t supposed to be depressed, right?
Well, I was depressed, dangerously so. People had noticed for some time, a change in my personality. I had grown quiet and didn’t enjoy being around others – not the best place for a pastor to be or anyone for that matter. I was wearied with pretending to have joy. I was tired of people asking me if I was okay. And, I was angry that everybody else seemed to be on top of the world – when I felt like I was scraping the bottom. I whispered a prayer, “Lord, please, I’m desperate; do something or I’m done! Within a matter of moments, the praise team began to sing those powerful words written by Susan Carmichael:
‘Come to the mountaintop, leave all your cares behind, He spoke so gently to me. Lay all your burdens down, such peace and joy you’ll find; Come take my hand and you’ll see. You will fly, fly, fly like a butterfly gliding on wings of the wind, never having to hide deep inside your cocoon once again. Look, world, look all around me, my chains are gone, I know I’ve been set free; I’m safely resting in Jesus again.
I listened quietly, He waited patiently; He didn’t push, didn’t shove. I gave Him my sorrows, today’s cares, tomorrow’s, and He wrapped them up in His love. He said fly, fly, fly like a butterfly gliding on wings of the wind, never having to hide deep inside your cacoon once again. Look world, look all around me, my chains are gone; Iknow I’ve been set free, I’m safely resting in Jesus again. I can fly, fly, fly like a butterfly gliding on wings of the wind, never having to hide deep inside my cocoon once again. Look, world, look all around me, my chains are gone; I know I’ve been set free, I’m safely resting in Jesus again.(Carmichael, 1985)
In those moments of worship, I found the freedom in Christ to be weak; freedom from my perceived expectations that I always had to have it together. I realized that even on my worst days, God was for me! And I could rest in Him. I want you to know that it’s okay to have a bad day. It’s okay to need others, and if they are not there, Jesus is always, always present. SO, JOIN ME IN BEING REAL AND DON’T WASTE ONE MORE MOMENT IN PRETENDING THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY WHEN IT ISN’T.